Fear and Loathing in Toon Town

Okay ... here are some of my fears of doing this project.

1.) I have discribed myself as a man with far too many irons in the fire. Here is a list of interests:
the mountain dulcimer, movies, animation, cartooning, comic books, books, history, writing a family history from my father's notes, writing a novella, cigar box guitars, the harmonica, the scrub board, tin whistle, beer making, ventriloquism, and puppetry. Can you see why it is hard to focus on any one thing. I blaime it on the Chinese zodiac. I'm a monkey and we are easily distracted. Oh look a butterfly!!!!

2.) I have not had a good track record. I have tried to do several projects ... having a real passion to follow ... but not to follow through.

3.) I'm broken. I use to draw all the time ... I didn't think about making time ... I just drew. Yoko shakes her head at this ... Hell! I get eye rolls! I know this is in my head but it doesn't make it any less effective or real. I had a bad experience that just really snapped me. Now I had to work myself up ... and some times I find excuses not to do the work.

4.) I'm afraid I don't know enough.

5.) I'm afraid my dulcimer skills aren't good enough. I hope to work with other people ... I don't mind working with other people. It could slow things down in some ways ... but I like the idea of having the best talent that I can. I just want to get a little experiance under my belt before I have others put in an effort.

6.) I may have to sing ... I sing like a bird ... a crow. Still I've been encouraged to push myself. I can think of people I might ask, but I need to make sure I will get their work up there.

7.)Medical issues: Earlier this year I found out I am getting cataracts. Then I found out I have diabetes. And my teeth became an issue. At this point including all indiviguals involved I have 6 doctors. Every weekend I have one of them to go see.

8.) Which brings me to time! That most precious of human possesions and the thing that is spent so unwisely. 10 hours a day, 5 days a week are spent in hotel hell (okay technically it's Purgatory.) My schedule is not fixed so week to week I have to adjust. I have to go to the doctors ... I'm suppose to exercise. I don't do it as much as I should ... but I'm going to have to do more. Then there's rest and sleep. Family time. I don't have to do a pie chart for you to see I don't have much time to work on this. just to show you I've done a test for Old Joe Clark montages and figured it took me to just over 30 hours to do 30 seconds. So given that, it theoretically takes an hour a second.

9.) Doubts of ever being seen. I have to wonder if after all of this work will turn out to be me with my finger to my lip going, "bibbabibbabibbaibba!" all alone in cyberspace. It's the way I've felt before. I wondered how many of people ... even friends were paying attention. Maybe it didn't merit being viewed ... does count as ten?

The first step is admitting your fears.